Nothing much to blog about at the moment….lots of big changes taking place.  I’m somewhat bursting at the seams to spill HOWEVER…now isn’t the time….

Few random things:

I found my new favorite burbon whiskey….Basil Haydens.  Highly recommend it…neat of course.

Actually, that’s my only random thing at the moment…I suppose I could add I’m horribly sick of winter, cannot stand gloomy days, found some amazing new pants at H&M, and I’m super excited to check out Jascha…playing tonight and tomorrow night…haven’t decided which show to hit.  If you’re in the area (indy that is) be sure to swing through…

Until next time…

SO….within this revelation came another…in a form of a text from my lovely lady friend Kristy McLochlin.  “We need breathalyzers on our phones”.  Ahhhh….yes…yes indeed.  Brilliant idea that would save myself…and I’m sure ALL of you the humiliation of waking up the next day and not wanting to leave your bed…ever.  You know this feeling…you just want to be alone with your shame and embarrassment. We’ve all done it…it effing sucks.  You can’t take it back…you’re forced to start a new day with the disgrace of what you’ve done.  Or even worse…looking at your phone and seeing something like 29 consecutive outbound unanswered calls along with several texts you know you DID NOT write…or maybe you did??? 

In an effort to save the future of our egos and pride I propose this.  Breathalyzers (and even possible blood tests) for our phones.  Here’s how it should go down.  There are numbers in your phone…people you without doubt should NOT be contacting…you put them on a setting called…oh I don’t know…don’t you fucking dare. You’re out, you’ve had a few shots of jack, a few beers….you try to call or text one of these forbiddens….your phone requests a breathalyzer.  You fail…call not placed…furthermore you CANNOT see the actual number just incase you want to pull a sneaky and try from your buddies phone.  Humiliation avoided…clear conscious in the morning….all is well. 

Someone hurry up on this one…I guarantee it will make you a whole hell of a lot of money…

I can imagine most other bloggers have written an entry based around the new year.  I’m not one to follow along like a sheep, however…it’s hard to avoid such an obvious topic when it’s smack dab in front of your face.  So…it’s a new year.  I’ve never really been too big on the whole “new years” celebration…I’ve never made a resolution and I’ve honestly never treated January 1^st as a day for a new beginning.  I’m actually starting to wonder if this is yet another example of how I live my life behind the brick wall.  Why haven’t I ever made a resolution? I suppose because I hate “talk”. If you’re going to do something…just do it.  It correlates directly with the whole expectations thing.  If you fail it’s just another disappointment. Why not wake up every day, new year or not, and start off with your goal…for the day…you accomplish it…wonderful.  No let downs for tomorrow.  Maybe this seems to be a fine tuned defense mechanism however, I can assure you it’s not.  It’s just being practical.  It doesn’t save me from anything…it doesn’t make anything easier…life and the road you take isn’t yours to walk alone.  There are other players that bring happiness, disappointment, laughter, bullshit, hopes and tears into your life…I have simply come to the conclusion that I don’t need to add to those overwhelming emotions we all have to deal with.  Life is hard enough as it is. 

So…20-ten.  A new year…another year I hope is filled with success and true happiness. Another year I want to spend watching my little man grow, learning more about the person I am and the person I hope to one day be.  Another year with surprises, laughter and love…making memories with the ones closest to my heart…shedding tears just because…staring at my phone trying not to hold my breath…calling my girls and saying you’ll never guess…hating myself because I made yet another mistake…sighing and cracking a beer at the absurdity of it all…finding new music to fall in love with…kicking myself in the ass…learning….living.  Another year to be grateful for…another year to just….be.  I hope the best for  each of you…we all deserve it. 

Additional thought: I would encourage you all to check out your horoscope for January and the year to come on Susan Millers site.  Follow it faithfully…FYI…has a great iPhone and Crackberry app.

I have decided to make a bucket list (a list of things to do before you die). I have made one before and never did anything with it. This time around I am determined to get started on accomplishing my list, especially since 2012 isn’t too far off. And yeah, a tiny little part of me believes in that shit, but anyway… I have decided to share my list with you, the world wide web. If anything on my list grabs your attention and makes you think, “Hell yeah, I’d do that!”; then please let me know and we can do it together! I mean if Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman can partner up then why can’t me and you!?

Okay, so here’s the thing…

I started making my bucket list… I really did. I got about 5 things on there, then I stopped. Part of me was like wow, my goals are just…average, which was very unsettling. Another part of me (a big part of me) was like why am I even doing this?! I was limiting myself, setting unrealistic goals, or applying mass amounts of pressure. And yeah, all that came with just 5 tiny bullet points. So I stopped and threw away my list, sat back for a moment trying to decide to start over or just forget the whole thing.

I decided to do the most rational thing I could think of… live my life.

I don’t need a set list, staring back at me waiting to for things to be marked off. I don’t need my own words haunting me day in and day out. I just need to take this life day by day but I totally don’t disagree with the whole idea of having one. So I am compromising and for the sake of the original idea of this blog, I give you my bucket list….

• To be happy…

xx J

Love, passion, sex, relationships, expectations = one massive mess.  I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that hasn’t gone through several tries before they finally found something/someone that works for them.  Love is hard, relationships can be hurtful and beautiful in the same moment, passion can make people completely nuts.  Sex..well, I’ll leave you to your own thoughts on that one…my point is…you just never know how something can turn out.  I get the whole “marry your best friend” thing…I 100% believe that whoever you end up with should be your best friend. I don’t however, think giving it a shot with a “close” friend is worth what you could potentially loose in the long run. 

When you’re close friends with someone it’s because you have chosen to develop that relationship.  You believe in the good of them, you trust them, they make you laugh.  You can be yourself, call them at 3 am crying your eyes out, and fuck with them via text without having to worry about hurting their feelings…why? Because, they get you…you get them…you’re friends.  When you start dating a friend you go into it believing what you have always known them to be.  Your guard is down, you trust them and you believe they care for you enough that they would never want to hurt you…and vice versa.  You believe they cherish your friendship enough to not get into something with you that they haven’t really thought through, because they don’t ever want you to NOT be a part of their life.  Essentially, you’ve just walked into the biggest expectations you may ever have or set when it comes to this type of thing.  This is never good. 

If you truly love your friend…keep them as one.  Don’t let attraction or anything else get in the way…because one day, when all is said and done…there’s a huge chance it won’t work out.  When that happens, I can almost guarantee you you’ve lost them forever.  You both may try to get things back on track, you may paste the smiles on your face and attempt to laugh together like you used to…but it will never be the same.  There will always be that underlying failure, someone will have hurt feelings, someone will be left feeling awkward…someone ended it…chances are one didn’t want that end to come.  Please don’t get me wrong, if you really REALLY believe that pursuing a relationship with a friend could be it for you…do it…you never know…just make sure you measure what you could be loosing. In my opinion…not worth it.

 A few things to note:

• I’m not talking about run of the mill friends here…go ahead…try them all out…I’m talking anyone on your top 5 favorite people list.
• I totally believe it’s possible to hook up with someone prior to really knowing them and become fantastic friends after

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some things never change…..

Jessica Stalcup

I hate the saying, “You never know what you have until it’s gone.” Because it is true. You also never know what you have until you run around on it, beat it up, and eat its heart out, and you’re both still in love. No, this never was cookie cutter love. But it tastes sweeter than it ever has.

I was at work and a man I was serving told me, “The secret to love and happiness is to marry your best friend.” He couldn’t have told me this at a more beneficial time. No, I’m not getting married, but it’s still relevant. He said, “Marry the one who makes you laugh harder than anyone else, the one who you desire to make laugh, the one you want to see a movie with on a lazy Sunday. The one who you want to run and tell everything to first and the one who looks at you from across the room and still winks on her way back from the restroom.” I looked up and his wife was approaching, doing just that. The next day I found that person. Just as I found her several times before, but this time I approached her with more respect, more appreciation, and more kindness than I ever had before. I laid down on her bed and she joined me. We both released a sigh of relief; after all it had been 6 months since we last laid this close. And like an involuntary action, “The First Day of my Life” by Bright Eyes started playing in my head. The song says, “I know these things take forever, I especially am slow, but I realize that I need you and I wondered if I could come home.” I kept repeating the line because this has been 3 ½ years in the making and finally everything fell into place. I had my best friend back. I thought back to what the man at my table had told me the night before, and I checked off each point he had made. The laughter, the lazy, the look and the love, she had met them all.

I’ve spent so much time denying love, convincing myself and others that I will fail. I’ve spent so much time filled with temporary happiness and replacement after replacement. But my fondest memory, the one that always makes me cry, is a time when she was all I knew, and I needed nothing else. And today, I still think she is just that. So, some things never change, and that’s just alright by me.

Alright, so the music scene is picking up these days. Apparently December is the month for shows, which makes my outfit choices very difficult since I hate wearing coats. But anyway… here’s the run down.

Wednesday, December 9th at 9 pm the lovely band The Vintage Union is playing at Birdy’s Bar and Grill. Along with The Working Hour and Sam Eakins and the Awkwards. I will admit that The Vintage Union holds a special place in my heart since my lover is the bass player but even if he wasn’t I’d still enjoy their music. It’s very catchy with smooth sounds of classic rock, pop, folk and blues fused together to deliver lyrics inspired by friends, family, and everyday life. Everyone should come see this show; $5 to get in but the enjoyment you’ll receive is priceless.

Then on Thursday one of my favorite local bands America Owns the Moon is playing a free show at Locals Only in Broad Ripple with opening act Invaders.  Doors open at 8, and I recommend getting there then. If the facebook event page confirmed guest list is true the show will be packed. I promise you this it’s well worth standing shoulder to shoulder with strangers to see America Owns the Moon. I have never left a show of theirs without a smile on my face.

On Satruday night the amazing local country artist, Corey Cox is playing at 8 Seconds Saloon on the westside. The show starts at 10 pm. I have personally seen Corey perform numerous times and I will continue to support him throughout his career. His show’s are fast paced, and a crowd pleaser so you definitely don’t want to miss it. Plus 8 Seconds is an amazing bar! It’s amazing to watch the country line dancers!

And just so it’s clear, all venues listed in this post are 21+!

On another note, in the words of Waylon Jennings and Big Bird…

I found out a long time ago
You gotta learn to say “yes” when life says “no”
Don’t dwell on the bad times once they’re past
That kind of thinking gets you nowhere fast

‘Cause there ain’t no mountain you can’t climb
If you hang on tight and just make up your mind
Once you set your heart to movin’ on
Son, there ain’t no road too long.

Quoting a children’s movie might seem cheesy but there is a profound message to learn here and to live by. After watching Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird, I heard this song and it instantly made me realize nothing will get better if you just sit around waiting. You have to get up and fight for the days when the grass will be greener. So whenever times are bad and you are down on your luck, remember boys and girls… there ain’t no road too long.

We’re doing a pop up shop at Indys Talbott Street tomorrow for their First Friday Femme  party and we CANNOT wait.  They have been like family to us for a long time now, so going home isn’t anywhere on our list of complaints.  A night filled with amazing music from DJ Deanne, drag shows, the smoking hot F3 Go Go Dancers, wine tastings…yeah..didn’t have to twist our arm.  Come out and join us for what promises to be a rocking night filled with shopping, dancing and (ahem) boozin.  Stay tuned for pictures!!!!

Doors open at 7

Addy: 2145 N. Talbott St.

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