Happy Friday!

Nothing much to blog about at the moment….lots of big changes taking place.  I’m somewhat bursting at the seams to spill HOWEVER…now isn’t the time….

Few random things:

I found my new favorite burbon whiskey….Basil Haydens.  Highly recommend it…neat of course.

Actually, that’s my only random thing at the moment…I suppose I could add I’m horribly sick of winter, cannot stand gloomy days, found some amazing new pants at H&M, and I’m super excited to check out Jascha…playing tonight and tomorrow night…haven’t decided which show to hit.  If you’re in the area (indy that is) be sure to swing through…

Until next time…

For the past couple weeks I’ve been kicking myself in the ass for picking up my phone in times I definitely should not have.  That’s putting it lightly.  However, in my defense I’ve recently started taking medication that apparently clouds your judgment…I can confirm this to be true. Not only does it cloud your judgment, it seems to erase your memory and cause temporary insanity.  No worries, I’m finally adjusting to it and back to normal…thank god.  (I think).

SO….within this revelation came another…in a form of a text from my lovely lady friend Kristy McLochlin.  “We need breathalyzers on our phones”.  Ahhhh….yes…yes indeed.  Brilliant idea that would save myself…and I’m sure ALL of you the humiliation of waking up the next day and not wanting to leave your bed…ever.  You know this feeling…you just want to be alone with your shame and embarrassment. We’ve all done it…it effing sucks.  You can’t take it back…you’re forced to start a new day with the disgrace of what you’ve done.  Or even worse…looking at your phone and seeing something like 29 consecutive outbound unanswered calls along with several texts you know you DID NOT write…or maybe you did??? 

In an effort to save the future of our egos and pride I propose this.  Breathalyzers (and even possible blood tests) for our phones.  Here’s how it should go down.  There are numbers in your phone…people you without doubt should NOT be contacting…you put them on a setting called…oh I don’t know…don’t you fucking dare. You’re out, you’ve had a few shots of jack, a few beers….you try to call or text one of these forbiddens….your phone requests a breathalyzer.  You fail…call not placed…furthermore you CANNOT see the actual number just incase you want to pull a sneaky and try from your buddies phone.  Humiliation avoided…clear conscious in the morning….all is well. 

Someone hurry up on this one…I guarantee it will make you a whole hell of a lot of money…

As I’m sure you’ve noticed there hasn’t exactly been an overflow of posts for the last month or so. Taking the time to sit and get my thoughts down became more of a chore… wasn’t nearly as excited as a 16 year old boy about to lose his virginity.  I’m slowly finding that flicker of passion again and hoping this entry will jumpstart the blaze once again.  Writers block is not fun…and I wouldn’t even consider myself a “writer”.

I can imagine most other bloggers have written an entry based around the new year.  I’m not one to follow along like a sheep, however…it’s hard to avoid such an obvious topic when it’s smack dab in front of your face.  So…it’s a new year.  I’ve never really been too big on the whole “new years” celebration…I’ve never made a resolution and I’ve honestly never treated January 1^st as a day for a new beginning.  I’m actually starting to wonder if this is yet another example of how I live my life behind the brick wall.  Why haven’t I ever made a resolution? I suppose because I hate “talk”. If you’re going to do something…just do it.  It correlates directly with the whole expectations thing.  If you fail it’s just another disappointment. Why not wake up every day, new year or not, and start off with your goal…for the day…you accomplish it…wonderful.  No let downs for tomorrow.  Maybe this seems to be a fine tuned defense mechanism however, I can assure you it’s not.  It’s just being practical.  It doesn’t save me from anything…it doesn’t make anything easier…life and the road you take isn’t yours to walk alone.  There are other players that bring happiness, disappointment, laughter, bullshit, hopes and tears into your life…I have simply come to the conclusion that I don’t need to add to those overwhelming emotions we all have to deal with.  Life is hard enough as it is. 

So…20-ten.  A new year…another year I hope is filled with success and true happiness. Another year I want to spend watching my little man grow, learning more about the person I am and the person I hope to one day be.  Another year with surprises, laughter and love…making memories with the ones closest to my heart…shedding tears just because…staring at my phone trying not to hold my breath…calling my girls and saying you’ll never guess…hating myself because I made yet another mistake…sighing and cracking a beer at the absurdity of it all…finding new music to fall in love with…kicking myself in the ass…learning….living.  Another year to be grateful for…another year to just….be.  I hope the best for  each of you…we all deserve it. 

Additional thought: I would encourage you all to check out your horoscope for January and the year to come on Susan Millers site.  Follow it faithfully…FYI…has a great iPhone and Crackberry app.

Just wanted to take a moment and wish you all a happy, healthy holiday full of laughter and joy.  Nothing grand or amazing to write about at the moment, absolutely nothing to bitch about (well…I’m sure I could come up with something if I tried ;-p)…just wanted to spread a little holiday cheer.  Thanks to all of you for the support…more to come! 

xx J

A week or so ago we had a polymath, Jessica Stalcup who wrote an amazing piece about realizing love in friendship and making sure you marry your best friend. After reading it a few times I decided I was going to write my next blog on why I think NO ONE should ever date a friend…play devils advocate if you will.  Sitting here tonight I decided to read her post again, just to refresh my mind and I realized that although I am still going to write about not dating friends, it really doesn’t go hand in hand with hers.  Somehow I took it out of context (big surprise there). I was ready to go head to head…(aries in me gets the blame for that one)…so…here are my thoughts, totally irrelevant to hers as well as everything I just wrote here…you gotta love my ramblin mind.

Love, passion, sex, relationships, expectations = one massive mess.  I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that hasn’t gone through several tries before they finally found something/someone that works for them.  Love is hard, relationships can be hurtful and beautiful in the same moment, passion can make people completely nuts.  Sex..well, I’ll leave you to your own thoughts on that one…my point is…you just never know how something can turn out.  I get the whole “marry your best friend” thing…I 100% believe that whoever you end up with should be your best friend. I don’t however, think giving it a shot with a “close” friend is worth what you could potentially loose in the long run. 

When you’re close friends with someone it’s because you have chosen to develop that relationship.  You believe in the good of them, you trust them, they make you laugh.  You can be yourself, call them at 3 am crying your eyes out, and fuck with them via text without having to worry about hurting their feelings…why? Because, they get you…you get them…you’re friends.  When you start dating a friend you go into it believing what you have always known them to be.  Your guard is down, you trust them and you believe they care for you enough that they would never want to hurt you…and vice versa.  You believe they cherish your friendship enough to not get into something with you that they haven’t really thought through, because they don’t ever want you to NOT be a part of their life.  Essentially, you’ve just walked into the biggest expectations you may ever have or set when it comes to this type of thing.  This is never good. 

If you truly love your friend…keep them as one.  Don’t let attraction or anything else get in the way…because one day, when all is said and done…there’s a huge chance it won’t work out.  When that happens, I can almost guarantee you you’ve lost them forever.  You both may try to get things back on track, you may paste the smiles on your face and attempt to laugh together like you used to…but it will never be the same.  There will always be that underlying failure, someone will have hurt feelings, someone will be left feeling awkward…someone ended it…chances are one didn’t want that end to come.  Please don’t get me wrong, if you really REALLY believe that pursuing a relationship with a friend could be it for you…do it…you never know…just make sure you measure what you could be loosing. In my opinion…not worth it.

 A few things to note:

• I’m not talking about run of the mill friends here…go ahead…try them all out…I’m talking anyone on your top 5 favorite people list.
• I totally believe it’s possible to hook up with someone prior to really knowing them and become fantastic friends after

Good Morning!!!!

Ash and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster the past few weeks…some reasons we share a common stress over, others…not so much.  If any of you have ever tried to write when you’re feeling how we’ve been, you should understand that 99% of what translates from your mind to your paper aren’t things you should necessarily share with the world…not unless you want to read rants, sob stories, woe is me and my life sucks type blogs.  We spared you as best we could and have both come out alive and back to ourselves…oh how good that feels.  Today we’ve left the past the past…put the people that belong there on lock down…left the doubts and stresses behind.  

We’ve decided we’d like to extend a few things to you.  First, a lot of you email us with comments, questions etc…we love the feedback…keep it coming. We’d like to start interacting with you all a bit more.  Most of you know we do our “get to know us” questions once in awhile…if there are any q’s you’d like answered send us your list.  If there’s anything you’d like us to write about…let us know…we’d be more than happy to have your ideas bouncing around in our minds…triggering new thoughts & inspirations.

Second…if you haven’t checked out our polymath section of guest bloggers, you’re missing out.  We have some amazing people that have already contributed and some outstanding peeps writing entries at this moment.  Keep checking back for their posts.  We typically invite our polymaths to write for us…we’d like to extend that invitation to all of you.  We appreciate individuals for who they are, their unique thoughts and different perspectives on life.  That being said…we encourage  all of you to submit your writing…become a part of life without wax.

Here are our emails: jaimie@identitystreetwear.com & ashley@identitystreetwear.com

Here are few things I would be more than thrilled to live without.  Keeping with the spirit of thanksgiving I’d be very grateful if you all took note…

• Natasha Bedingfield.  I’m all about expressing yourself without people passing judgment but really??? Who the hell gave her a record deal…they should be fired.  Immediately.  While I’m at it…add nickelback to that list…
• You are not too cool to use your turn signal.  Promise.
• People that flip the tables on you to make it look like it was your idea in the first place.  no it wasn’t m$%therf*#cker. man up.
• Ending a sentence with a preposition, particularly the word “at”.  While we’re on the subject of speech allow me to add bad grammar in general. 
• People picking their nose in the privacy of their own car.  Leave them alone. Who cares.  I do it when I’m thinking…you’re breaking my thought process when you yell “get it”.  You live your life, I’ll live mine. 
• When someone thinks you have no clue what’s really going on.  Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe I don’t think you’re worth it? Maybe I don’t think proving my point and turning your words on you is even worth the satisfaction it would normally bring?
• If you care to share something funny, sentimental, important etc. with me…email it, send me the link or let me read your phone myself.  I cannot follow you when you read out loud to me…no matter how many times you repeat yourself.  never was good at story time…
• I don’t give a shit if lady gaga is a man or woman. Her music sucks regardless.  In fact, I don’t care what any celebrity is or isn’t, does or doesn’t…please don’t fill me in.  If I care to develop a sick fascination with someone else’s life I can access tmz myself…which I won’t. ever.
• Elevator Etiquette. Here’s something to think on…why not try waiting AT LEAST 3 seconds before you barge into the elevator.  Did it ever occur to you there may be people trying to get off first??
• Most of you know my major issues with deli people.  For those who don’t…here you go.  99.9% of them are the rudest individuals I have ever met.  If you don’t like the pre cut slices of meat & cheese consider your day fucked.  I’ve tried the whole “kill them with kindness” route…it DOES NOT WORK.   Finally I started treating them the same way…hate to do it…karma and all…but enough is enough.  This is the only time in my life I can say “you give what you get”…any other situation I think that statement is complete bullshit.
• While we’re on the subject of things that go in baggies…I cannot stand when people zip up zip lock bags and leave a bunch of air in them. Stop!  I don’t want to open something that has fermented into a slimy germ infested replica of what it once was because it’s been sitting in stale air for days. I don’t know if this is something that actually happens however, in my mind it absolutely does.  *shudder*.
• When people tell you “this isn’t what you need”, “it’s not good for you”, “it’s not what you’re looking for”, “you’ll be much better off”…ok…fuck you.  seriously.  I’ve heard this in business, relationships, from friends, strangers giving advice…BLAH.  Who are you to know what I need in my life.  Thank you very much but no thank you.  Those words are the equivalent of “I don’t have enough balls between my legs to tell you what’s really on my mind”.  Grow a back bone…I’m not that stupid or naïve.  It’s insulting. 
• Bathroom stuff.  #1 Towels:  I have never understood why people need a new one after each shower.  I get swapping after a few days but isn’t the whole purpose of a shower to clean yourself? And aren’t you using your towel AFTER you get out of the shower? Someone please clear this one up for me.  #2: toilet paper: please put the roll on so when you pull it it rolls over the top, not under the bottom.  Does this make sense? Also, change the roll if you use the last square. 
• Lip syncing. Ask anyone that knows me…my longest lasting love affair is with music.  I sing when my voice could do some serious damage to surrounding ear drums…I mouth the words when I’m in the mood to save myself some embarrassment…I get it…you’re feeling it.  When you don’t know the words…please OH PLEASE stop pretending you do.  Do you really think no one notices? We know when you’re skimming the words or turning your head at certain moments…just listen…it’s ok.  We know you like the song…which leads me to my next complaint….
• People that mouth the words as they read.  Sorry guys…while your head is bent engaged in whatever it is your reading I’m staring you down urging you mentally to STOP before I explode.  No reason in particular…just drives me up the effing wall.
• I’m not glass, I’m not a child, I’m not sugar. I won’t break…I won’t melt.  Tell me how it is. I’ll respect you more.  Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, don’t ease me into anything, don’t tell me you are just trying to protect me…I’m stronger than I let on and stronger than you think.
• Couples that fight in public.  I shouldn’t have to go into depth on this one.  Just don’t do it.  You look absolutely ridiculous. 
• Metal scraping against metal.  If I’m at the table with you, I beg you…PLEASE do not scrape your knife and fork together.  If you want to get rid of me here’s the easiest way…scrape your fork against your teeth.  No joke.  I have to leave the table.  Only with my strongest will power have I ever been able to sit through a meal with someone that does the teeth against the utensil thing.  *CRINGE*
• When I’m done with something…I’m done.  If you missed the boat…sorry…you had your chance. If you have doubt about the role your ego is playing or what you really want I’d suggest figuring your issues out while my door is still open…after that it doesn’t open again…I cannot stand games or uncertainty.  Game over…maybe we both loose.
• If I’m with you in the car or any other confined space…don’t have a 10 minute phone conversation unless absolutely necessary.  Rudest thing ever.  I don’t do it to people…don’t do it to me. 
• If you’re behind me in line, next to me at the bar or anywhere else for that matter do NOT rub up on me…if you have the space to be at least 2 body widths away from me…take it. When you hug me do not hold me for longer than 2 seconds, place your hand anywhere lower than the middle of my back, sigh into my neck, turn your face towards mine, pull away and try to look me in my eyes while still attached me somewhere, push your pelvis against whatever part of my body is at the same height, let your hand linger on the small of my back, or release me slowly.  Personal space if you please. 
• I cannot STAND it when people talk during a movie.  I’m not even talking about a theater here…I mean any movie.  I’m watching something.  Zip it. 

I’ll finish off with a brief list…this is getting really long.

• grocery carts with a wheel that won’t turn or roll.
• girls with really high pitched baby voices/girls that think it’s cute to talk baby
• when someone is talking to me and doesn’t look me in the eyes
• blue tooth headsets.  Use when necessary. They do not make you look important.
• most pet owners
• ed hardy
• girls that refuse to wear clothing that fits them. I suggest purchasing a mirror and using it.
• someone asking for my opinion then disagreeing with me.  Really? Why waste my time asking in the first place.
• political, religious or anything of the sort conversations. There are a very select few I will talk about this with. I can almost guarantee you are not one of them. 
• when people put water in the soap dispenser.  Pisses me the eff off. Just buy new soap.  Try the dollar store if you’re low on cash.

CAR STUFF: 

• If there’s no sign saying not to…you can turn on red. 
• People that get gas and park somewhere in the middle leaving you inches away from the pump reaching your car.  SCOOT THE FUCK UP. 
• There is a difference between yield and merge.  Know it.
• If you have no brake lights I can’t see you stopping. 
• Are you going to cut me off at some point? Your blinker certainly says so…for the last FIVE miles.

Happy Holidays.

I’m not really a holiday person…however, in lieu of Thanksgiving I figured I’d write about one thing I’m the most grateful for…my girl friends. 

I remember growing up hearing things like “it’s not quantity it’s quality” and “if you have one friend in this world you can count on you’ve done well”…I’ve gotten lucky and this week I was reminded just how fortunate I am. 

Too often time slips through the cracks, plans just can’t be made…phone calls forget to be returned…we get wrapped up in our own little worlds, in our own lives.  Fortunately all of my girlfriends share the same quality…it’s not about talking everyday, we all know no news is good news…we’re there when we need each other for laughter or tears…good news and bad…through distances and disastrous schedules.   I am so blessed to have them in my life…so ladies…this is a massive thank you to you.  I am more than grateful for you being a part of my life…you’ve all always stood by me no matter what, picking me up when I fall, telling me when I need to get my shit together, when I need to pull my head out of the clouds, encouraging me when I’m not sure how much more I can take…mending my broken heart with tequila, whiskey and pbr….you’ve been the source of smiles that come straight from my heart…you get me and my jagged thoughts, and aren’t afraid to hurt my feelings.  I can only hope I’ve brought the same joy, comfort and strength to your lives.  You all know who you are…thank you for being you….

Whether you’re a holiday person or not…I’d encourage everyone to stop for a moment…look around and let those you love know you cherish them.  Most people I talk to on a daily basis have had one hell of a year…or three.  Thank the ones that have gotten you through, the ones that bring a light into your life…don’t take them for granted.  We are bound to family by blood…but our friends are the people that just love us for who we are…not because they’re supposed to.

another round of Q&A for you.  we switched it up this time…rather than pull from the initial 50 q’s we asked & answered when we launched our blog we decided to answer the same questions and do it right before we posted.  One thing we’ve both realized…indeed time changes everything…our answers of the past aren’t exactly our answers of the present. you can find mine on ashleys page.  enjoy.

What has been your biggest let down in life?

The biggest let down in life so far as been the honesty of the human race. Its completely gone. People lie (including myself) to hurt, and betray; to find revenge; to cover something up; to spare one’s feelings; and worst of all….because they have nothing better to do. Its disgusting, and completely unnessacary. It ruins relationships, friendships, and families.

 If you could pick one song to be playing in the background of a sex scene in your life, what would it be?

We are at a party. College age kids everywhere, our love is fresh, young, and lustful. We dominate the beerpong table, highfives and fist pumping everywhere. We get caught in a moment and head to the bathroom. Heated, passionate, on the counter and against the wall. The song playing would be….damn… I’m really trying to think of a good one…. Oh I know exactly what would be playing in the background and that party….Thunderstruck by ACDC.

 What is the hardest thing in life you’ve had to face?

The hardest thing in life I’ve ever had to face so far would be the week my mom was on life support and then taking her off and watching her die. It was an insanely hard decision but it had to be made. My family and I knew my mom wouldn’t want to be lying in a hospital as a vegetable or having people see her like that. The doctors had told us she was brain dead and there was nothing more they could do but as soon as the decision was made official, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that we should have waited a few more days or even hours to give her a chance to pull through. But those are selfish feelings, her soul needed to escape that body. She was taken too soon from me and everyone who loved her but I know she’s watching over us. She is my guardian angel.

 If you were to have your own perfume fragrance what would the name be?

I would like to think it’d be something romantic, or flowery. Even though I’m not really either of those… Well I can be at times I suppose but anyway. I’m thinking….

Something outdoorsy, but in the city. Sin City by Ashley Hannan…. No I don’t love Vegas that much, even though I have stories that’ll last me a lifetime from there. Dirty Venice Love. DVL for the fashionistas.

How do you think people view you? Who do they see when they see you

As of this moment in my life, I think people see me as a joke. I don’t think they take my passions or dreams very seriously. Just because I want a better life, something that could end up on THS or TMZ for that matter doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be real. Or that I didn’t work hard to get there. I can honestly say a few people in my life believe in me, and believe in my dreams. Everyone else will just be asking me for money one day.

How I view Ashley

The first time I met Ashley she came into my old store for a job.  I instantly knew there was something special about her…a spark…a drive…a beautiful soul.  It shouldn’t go unsaid that she intimidated the hell out of me.  She has this quiet demeanor about her.  It’s something that I didn’t know how to take at first but something I’ve grown to appreciate about her.  She isn’t frivolous. She takes in the little moments life gives…she listens and cares. She’s an amazing woman who has grown from my employee…to my partner (business people)…to my best friend.  Ashley gets life…she has something that most don’t…the ability to see through bullshit and tell it exactly how it is.  She’s wiped my tears on days when she should have been shedding them herself…she’s listened to me rant about everything under the sun…she’s told me when I’m wrong and put up with my obsessive bbm’s when I really can’t deal with something.  She’s genuine and the most unselfish person I’ve ever met. I’m not sure how other people see her but to me…she’s a light in my life.

 What is your “issue”? Your own personal demon? Something you’ve struggled with your whole life?

Hmmm, my “issue”…. Its really hard to pin point just one, haha. But I’d have to say I live in a constant stage of guilt. And its not that I do anything to deserve it really. Its like people know exactly how to make me feel sorry for them or how to make me feel guilty for being mad when they did something first. So this issue usually means I give out way too many “second” chances, and I get more fucked in the end. As many times that I have been walked on, and fucked over I continue to be naïve and believe there is good people in this world that will never hurt me. Good people who are my friends and good people that are strangers who could become my friends… And for that I will struggle with being a pushover and feeling guilty for life.

Another day waking up to questions.  There are so many unknowns…some are exciting…some are sad…some scary and some there are no words to describe.  I suppose this is to be expected but sometimes, it would be nice to have a day when you just know.  A day when you wake up and smile because everything is as it should be for right here, right now.  When those days come they’re so appreciated and cherished…however few and far between they are.   Days like today it’s nearly impossible to grasp anything, to wrap your mind around much other than a feeling…it’s even more defeating when you can’t even put that feeling to thoughts, words or actions.  What are my options for a day like this? Submerge myself in work, in mindless distractions and conversations revolving around everyone and everything else that has nothing to do with me.  Leave no room for thought, no room for that indescribable feeling that is pulling on my soul and hope that when tomorrow comes it’s a day to smile…because everything is as it should be…for right here, right now.